My story 2

[MJ1980]

I had some good opportunities to work on validating last night. My wife was telling me about some behavioral issues with our oldest daughter. I listened and responded with things like that must’ve been difficult for you. That is a hard situation and you handled it the best you could.

Last night we finished our conversation about counseling. She told me that she wanted to work on our communication since we have a tendency to not make very much progress when we talk. She also told me that she is going into counseling with a open mind about our relationship. She said she is willing to explore the idea of staying together. She does not want to pause anything with divorce filings at this time. She specifically stated because it takes a long time in our county. I was fairly quiet during the conversation. I listened to what she said and responded With validating phrases.

When I told her My boundaries for counseling specifically relating to the OM and that all contact needed to cease And that I wanted her to message him with no contact message and to copy or screenshot it to me. She gave me an excuse and said that The affair was over and that messaging him would be weird and that he might start messaging her back. I don’t believe that it has ever ended at this time. I told her that it is difficult for me to move forward without Any type of actions to back up the words she is saying. There has been a lot of lying on her part but no positive actions to prove otherwise.

I’m entertaining the idea of going to at least one session and bringing the above point up. The counselor we agreed upon using is very pro marriage. I was surprised that she agreed to this counselor because that has not been something she wanted. The BD was 8/23. She went from nothing to do with the marriage to wanting to go to
Counseling.

Thoughts.