Just wanted to keep you all apprised of what's happening, and hopefully get some of your awesome feedback.
We did discuss custody arrangements a little over a week ago and calmly agreed to a mutually agreeable arrangement of 50/50 custody of S 18 and S10. No R or D talk since that time. Communication is 90 percent about kids/bills, and the other 10 percent is general in nature, after she initiates. She has been a little bit lighter with her mood and more chatty when we do see each other. I keep the chats friendly and unrelated to R.
We are separated per MC suggestion (we have another MC session in 2 days). All of our interactions are very cordial and non-combative. I do strongly suspect (though will not snoop in order to prove) there is an OM in the mix here. I am attempting to lovingly detach and be the "lighthouse". Any OM issues would only come into play if she decides to R, so the way I see it there is little to gain by seizing on that right now.
Her parents have contacted me and asked if I noticed W distancing herself and I gave them a non-answer. They indicated they wanted to speak to her to see what is going on, and I did not encourage or discourage them in any way. In-laws are very pro M and I suspect W will avoid them at this point in her MLC.
Lastly, MIL thinks part of this is related to W adoption and the fact her birth family "rejected" her a second time when W made contact with them. This may or may not be the case, but I will not bring this issue up either unless and until W wants to talk about R.
3 months post-BD and about 19 months into MLC signs from W. Hanging in there and hoping for the best, while planning for the worst.
