I haven’t posted in a while—I’ve been focused on job hunting and D4. And trying, as much as I can, not to obsess over my situation with H.
Things have felt like they were taking a turn for the better with H. I have found (I think) the right balance between warmth and distance. He has been increasingly interested in me and what I’m up to, he’s been getting warmer and closer with me. He’s been texting and calling me more, all related to D4, but a noticeable increase. He’s sending me pics of her and talking about how she’s making a face I make, etc. He’s also been referencing old inside jokes and making references to silly things we used to say and do with one another. It is very difficult to not look for meaning in those moments. It feels impossible that it doesn’t mean something about the way he is feeling about me/us. ?
But, he also continues down the divorce path. Today he reminded me via text that we have a progress meeting next month, and asked if I wanted to have a conversation about finances and custody next week so that we go into it on the same page. I said that’s fine.
I’m obviously not surprised, but I’m definitely very disappointed and a bit crushed. I, of course, failed not to have expectations or read into the positive changes that have happened between us, and I really hoped he’d want to at least postpone this meeting. I do still have hope, because it is only a progress meeting and we have made zero progress on the actual divorce. In our last R talk I did say something to him about the fact that he could continue on that path while still being open to thinking about other possible outcomes. I can’t help but feel that at least to some degree that he may be doing just that: continuing on the path toward divorce but opening up to the idea of me slightly. Is that nuts?
I am working with my IC on acceptance and detachment, and I’m making slow progress, but it is progress. I would really like to do my best DBing for the duration of this process. I do believe at this point that the tough love/distant approach was not effective and that this warm/cordial approach is at least somewhat effective. I do feel like I need to change the status quo/power balance a bit. I appreciate any and all feedback:thoughts:advice!
