So after GAL last night which was great as always I ended up going on a date with H. Great time as always ( is enjoying dates has never been an issue ). So as I was getting ready to leave to go to my home I’ve been noticing he becomes clingy . Takes deep breaths . Just stares at me . But I proceed to say I had a great time . I’m gonna head home and leave . All I can say is this is by far the hardest thing I have done . I smiled and pulled away . Then come the texts and phone calls from him . Maybe temp checks ?? I would normally poor my heart out but didn’t . Even though I was crying driving when he called I quickly pulled it together . Then he initiates a R talk . Telling me living in 2 worlds is slowly killing him . He actually admitted to having a part of him wanting to come home but doesn’t trust we won’t fall back into the same patterns and have toxic fights . But also admitted the part of just wanting to not try anymore . I tried validating but did awful . I think I was caught off guard . I didn’t argue but said I’m never gonna ask you to come home that’s a decision only you can make . He has really started to spend more time with me and at home but I got that feeling he’s about to run hard the other way . What will be shall be .
