Hey Turbine. I understand how you feel about all the losses. It makes you feel as a failure for living up to someone else's expectations of you. That you incorrectly chose, said, and did in the past, that the treatment that you gave was not enough for them, that the guilt will be there to haunt you, that you want to make good on those things now, and you can't, that you are no longer a priority, loved, or considered, that they treat everyone else well but us now. That we want to change, that we want to control our emotions from all this negative external stimuli and treatment, that we want things to be fair with the courts, when its clearly biased. That we want to fight for what's right, and yet when we do, people don't respect it because they can't get their way. Looking for reactivity from a person that no longer wants us is fruitless. Revenge is fruitless. (Trust me I know I can have the same mindset at times.) I've realised that those that cannot control their emotions make bad decisions for the short term, and have heavy consequence. One moment of justice is not worth a lifetime of regret. So please. Stop the attention seeking from your Ex. I know it is hard to value yourself and your life right now, with the world caving in around you with all the losses. Emotionally, financially, spiritually, physically,
If you're ex has a BF that is partially a reflection of you, for who you WERE in the relationship, but it is mostly a reflection OF HER. We are all chasing the dragon in a sense, of being a better version of ourselves, of finding new joyful experiences in life, purpose, and novelty. And we need to make that healthy distinction. Being alone right now with no one to connect to with all the fear, insecurity, lack of life direction, loss and rejection of a loved one, being completely broke, wife replacing you, your home, your social life, your family, your dreams, being homeless and not having a place to live, is by far the most paralyzing experience anyone can have. I understand as a Man you probably feel victimized by all this, disrespected, discarded, betrayed and punished for past mistakes. Its like the ex is taking the actions and the courts are the enforcer. Keep your focus on what you can control, but please please take time to heal too. Im sure you probably feel stuck beteeen the past and scared about the future, and the emotions are keeping you paralyzed there from taking action and changing course with the flow of things. Try to get into the flow, learn, adapt, feel, but control too. Your a military guy right? If you don't do xyz, if you don't detach, if you cast your critical thinking aside. You will drown.
l I've been using YouTube as a distraction from my real priorities lately to help me with my emotional triggers, it has been somewhat preventing me from focusing on what I really should be doing, but every time o want to kick punch, scream, or yell, every time I feel reactive from Ex's actions, I go to it to it for answers to find my worth, my strength and my desire to live. The bible, prayer, and God help too. But I notice that when I find people with ways of changing how I view the world, it has a stronger impact. There is this guy called Jay Shetty on YouTube who has had a significant impact about life relationships, how people interact, and how to heal and grow. His videos have been really helping me with my hurt, anger, jealousy, and perspective the last few days. Please look him up. He may change your mind on how you are viewing yourself and your sich. Your pain, help you to let go, and carry forward.
