I think validation is great though at times I walk a fine line with it . Example last week my h called one of the kids wanted to talk -they missed me . I missed the phone call . I got a text saying the kids need to learn that both of us won’t always be there to answer because we both want our time to go out and have a life without them and won’t answer . I validated and said I understand you feel you want the kids to learn that about you and I understand. I then said the kids will not need to have that view point of me as I will always try to answer or call back .
I too get the “ you said you didn’t want to be together or unsure “ - your sitch is different you know there is actively OM. Sounds more like the rewrite of history . I would just simply say I understand you feel that way and walk away . Seething is ok just not in front of W.
