I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own. I am so accustomed to my W's support with the kids. I don't feel fit as a father to do this. I'm not used to doctor appointments and school volunteering and after-school activities.
Remember that you are planning to co-parent with your W even after D. You are not getting sole custody of the kids so she will still be there taking care of some of this and it will not be your sole responsibility. It will be a big change, hard initially but you will get used to the new routine and responsibilities over time.
Originally Posted by unchien
T I foresee things getting really awful between my W and I. A nasty court battle. Communication breakdown. The kids suffering in the middle. Abuse allegations. Slander. Living in fear that I am being documented and watched.
You are back in analysis paralysis. Just a thought here - one thing that may help is consulting with a lawyer. That way you get an idea of the best and worst case scenarios in the D and help you think to a plan rather than analyze all possible scenarios.
Take care of yourself. Eat well, meditate, exercise and most importantly don't hesitate to reach out for help whether it is going to a doctor, talking to a friend, increased IC sessions etc. This is very stressful but stay strong and be positive that things will be ok in the long term.
MLC - I can't being to describe how much some of your recent posts have helped me. Thank you for that.
I completely agree on co-parenting. I do have some hopes that we will eventually sort this out and be "amicable" - I know she shares that goal, even if her idea of what is best for the kids differs from mine. It won't be easy, but I will do my best to have a healthy relationship with her for my kids' sake.
You are right I'm completely in analysis paralysis. Part of that is uncertainty about what comes next.
I struggle with taking care of myself when the anxiety builds. My appetite drops, and hence my energy level drops and I don't feel like exercising. I fall asleep okay out of exhaustion, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, my brain starts firing up. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts, but nothing to do with self-improvement because it feeds into my anxiety at the moment. Just distracting entertaining things.
I've been going to weekly IC for about a year now, which is very helpful. And reaching out to friends who have been a huge help. Don't discount this forum which is another form of support. I recognize all the talking in the world won't help, I need to change my thinking patterns.
