Thanks kas. Appreciate it. What part or parts exhausted you? Just curious.
If you've ever read or listened to Brene Brown she talks about "hustling for your worth". She uses the analogy of being stuck in a spider web no matter which way your turn you're still stuck. I got the vibe you are exhausted from "hustling" and from trying to escape the web. As much as I want my WAH back it wouldn't work and I know it. I'd hustle and (this makes me cry) I know I'd be more miserable/exhausted than I am now. See its easier to live in denial than to face the truth. Steve you know the truth as do I which is why you're struggling. My IC used to say you can't "unknow" something. She talked about it like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. Exhausting.
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This is incredibly insightful. I praise you for being able to take a hard look at yourself like this. Kas, I truly believe that all of these situations are nothing if not a growth opportunity. Grow or die. Those are our choices. So I applaud you for looking into this. Please follow this up with some good IC and get to the root of why you have this need.
I'm in tears today close to sobbing so not feeling so strong today. I'm grateful to post on your thread. Putting my thoughts out there even if it's to give you advice helps me. We teach what we most need to learn right? I've had 20 years (off and on) of IC and honestly it's like kicking a drug habit all the IC in the world can't fix this. I know why I'm addicted but the cure is to go cold turkey. I need to learn to sit with the bad feelings without a man in my life.
WAH doesn't want me. That is my truth. I can go seek another man or I can learn to live without one. I think the short term pain is better than continuing to be in pain for the rest of my life. If I seek another man before I fix this I'll be right back here in no time. Guarantee it.
