Separated and sorting #3

[rooskers]

Ignore my W, ignore what people say I should ask for, ignore what might happen. Just first... think about what I want.

It will be permanent after the divorce so make sure it is what you want for you going forward for the rest of your life. Do not be tempted by NGS but at the same time you don't want revenge.

I am afraid of my W.

Completely reasonable. She hurt you like no other person could and now can hurt you even more. Just don't let the fear overwhelm you. You are a strong, capable person unchien and so far you have survived 100% of your worst days.

I foresee things getting really awful between my W and I. A nasty court battle. Communication breakdown. The kids suffering in the middle. Abuse allegations. Slander. Living in fear that I am being documented and watched.

All very likely. That is why we have all recommended getting a lawyer. The lawyer is payed to fight for you. It was the best money I have spent in my life. I have been accused, slandered, and everything I do is documented.

I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own. I am so accustomed to my W's support with the kids. I don't feel fit as a father to do this.

I was a stay at home dad for the first 5 years of D13 life and have been the primary caregiver for all 13 years of her life. When she started ballet I learned to put her hair in a bun, at bed I sing her songs, while in gymnastics I learned to braid her hair, when she had a fever I took her to the doctors, when she threw up in bed I cleaned it up and took her to my bed, when she needed a shot I lovingly held her, when she cried for no reason my shoulder got wet, when she was bullied at school I taught her to stand up for herself, when she struggles with homework I sit down and help, when she is hungry I teach her to cook, when she needs time alone I love her from a distance, and when her mom left her I was there.

I didn't know how I was going to do each one of these things, was unqualified, but I did them regardless and you will as well. I failed a lot (I mean a whole lot) but D13 remembers all of my fails as loving memories just as yours will. I don't feel fit as a father either but I do the best I can and you will will too. unchien I am here for you if you need.