Shame and devastation

[Jdevast]

Mini revelation

Wife has mentioned several times over the last few weeks that she has said and done things to me that she would never do to anyone else.

I didn't press her and honestly wasn't sure what she had said in the past.she offered no specifics despite being very specific about everything I had ever said and done.

I think I had totally blocked a lot of what she has said.but last night I started remembering the multiple times she had openly compared me in bed to past lovers as part of "honest chats"

I never pulled her up on that stuff.i ate it slilenty and while I had thought I had just let it all go as just words.

It's been that fear of confrontation that fed so much of my passive aggressive behaviour.damaged our relationship and made her lose respect for me.

I feel the need to talk to her about boundaries both past and future so that we can be mire honest and put an end to the resentment and damage probably via email.

If I raise this am I just causing more damage or providing more ammo for her ,Now that she has fully closed to me and put the walls up saying she refuses to have me in the house or talking about us as she believes I am manipulating her?