You all are absolutely correct on going dim as I cannot go completely dark due to our kid being involved. As I stated before I only answered because we had plans for her to pick up the kiddo and that was in the air due to a potential call into work for her. Therefore I assumed it was in regards to that and answered. I didn’t know the context of the call until after I’d already answered unfortunately. When she talked of anxiety I did validate her feelings and know now that I should not have tried to work her through issues and offer up advice but on the same side, I cannot say don’t call me unless it’s to reconcile etc and hang up on her as that will create stress on the co-parenting. **sigh** This is a mess...while I am thankful for our D5 and she’s changed my life, it’s made this whole sitch WAY more complicated. Hard to heal and focus on myself when there is going to be contact due to D5
The best advice I got from someone on this site was to treat your W like she's a grocery store cashier that you're meeting for the first time and making small talk with. My W BD'ed me about 6 weeks ago, she is also having an A. We only text financial or divorce matters (she texts me questions and I answer, no more) and in person when we exchange our S4 I just make small talk like I've never met her before. Trust me in the beginning of this I was unable to do this, but 6 weeks in I find it is getting easier and easier. I still have days I want to scream at the top of my lungs and lay in the fetal position and cry, but I never let her see or know that.
