New to this - need to talk

[Rita]

Yes, all interactions are going to be similar across all the threads. MLC is the same exact rotten ice cream, just different bad flavors.

You do not have to gauge her state of mind with every encounter. In fact, you must not. That right there sums up exactly what is going to keep you enslaved like all of us were until we stopped doing that.

Gauge nothing. Notice nothing. Believe nothing. That woman is not your W. Your W is not here anymore. She might come back but that lady who looks like her is not her. The only gift you can still give your W is to believe that she might come back someday and be ready to take her back. Trying to make anything out of the current incarnation will only be a slavery for you. Believe me, I speak from 7 years of experience. I believe in standing and I do not believe in divorce. But letting go is the only way through this. All that you have to do if you choose to stand is put your heart in a box, put on some armor so the blows just glance off you as much as possible and be ready to forgive her and start the slow process of rebuilding if she ever becomes some form of herself again. Trying to negotiate anything with who she is now is pointless. The destruction is going to happen and there is nothing you can do but be a light in this world while it happens.