Ugh. Not going well today with the whole trying to be dark.
A lot of people misunderstand what going dark means. It means no contact. Zero. Nothing. And it doesn't mean do that for an hour and then text, because if you contact her in an hour or a day or even a week then you didn't truly "go dark". Here's an example of going dark- a buddy of mine's W went rogue WAS on him. Left him, insisted they sell the house and joint business and she moved in with OM. He did what she asked, sold everything and split the proceeds with her and then well and truly went dark. Did not call/text/email or anything else for 2 YEARS. That my friend, is going dark. By the way she started reaching out to him after that and long story short, they've been happily together for 5 years since then. Ovr is right though, it's nearly impossible if you have kids together. You can go "dim" but not truly dark. Going dim means contact is strictly limited to kids and bills.
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I listened and let her vent as she said she called multiple other people before me and nobody answered, had i known it was about this, I wouldn't have either.
So not only are you the lowest priority/ last resort, but she felt inclined to tell you that's how you rate. Next time let it go to voicemail.
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I told her that she has to accept that she cannot help someone who is obviously imploding and she is only going to get caught in the fallout and that she needs to accept that she cannot control this (kinda like I'm trying to accept this whole separation reality we are in currently) Then she mentioned that she did not like being home alone at her trailer etc because she gets lonely and anxiety.
Like Rooskers said, no advice. You're trying to fix her problems for her. If you're going to listen and validate then that's fine, but don't try to fix anything. She doesn't want you to, she just wanted to vent. "That sounds very difficult for you, I am sorry you are struggling."
