Well done resisting his advances and demands to “see” your phone. Keep standing up to him, and by that, standing up for yourself. You are worth it!
H staying over Sunday and Monday is a little troubling. He’ll get use to the idea. I understand the plan of him watching the kids while you go out. However, you can hire a babysitter, for when you want to go out. You are then in complete control of you, not at the will or whim of if he is coming over.
He can take the kids out for time with them, and them with him. It is probably better than seeing Dad laying around all depressed and crying on the sofa. There are lots of options, coming to the house is only one of many.
The invoice for OW’s child care, yeah... If you’re done with someone, then you wouldn’t even print an invoice for them. He may be trying to be done, and still has a long ways to go. Don’t really know. Remember - watch their actions not the words. MLCers will lie with ease, they do it to themselves at an almost constant rate. Their “new and improved” story playing on loop in their mind.
I’m sorry you got pulled into a couple hour long text battle. You did end it correctly - if he is with her, he is not with you.
Regarding apologizing. I don’t know all the hurtful things you said over the long conversation. It being text both you and him, and whom ever else he shows, can reread it, over and over and over. Keep written conversations short and kind.
I’m sure what you said was true, at the moment, and probably driven by emotions. You are hurt and lashed back, and now regret it. It’s ok, learn for next time. Remaining cordial is more for you than him. You won’t affect his path that much, don’t worry. You do affect your path.
If you said something you really feel bad about. Something totally false. Fine, you could apologize for a specific outburst. I recommend not (remember only you know all you said) and leaving it be.
Learn, and demonstrate that learning next time. As much as we shouldn’t listen to their words and more follow their actions; they don’t listen well to our words but will listen to our actions. That is maybe the best way to apologize, to him and yourself.
I know you feel awful right now, it will pass, feelings always do. Dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.
You are doing really good. Do have a wonderful day. (((Kristy)))
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
