Slow and Steady

[Jac12]

My W started a chat today before leaving the house. Basically asked if her L should be expecting a letter from my L based on what me and her talked about last weekend.

I said "no, he's still on vacation but basically once we agree on the details we can have them draw it up. I'm not interested in paying him more money if we haven't finalized this ourselves yet...which I thought we did"

Her: I'm just not fine with the custody part (I would have primary custody, alternating wknds and she would see him after school on Wednesdays until bedtime)

Me: I can understand that. I'm not happy about it either - I don't want to give up any time with him.

Her: This is about what's best for our Son, not what's best for you.

Me: I realize that and I think what's best for him at 2.5 years old is to have a consistent home. I've offered to give you more time with him than what you've been getting and I'm not ok with anything more than that. If we were really focused on what was best for our son we wouldn't be having this discussion because I'm pretty sure divorced parents isn't what is best for him. This is probably my only child, it kills me that I won't get to see him every night. (yes, probably too much talking by me but at this point we are negotiating the separation agreement)

Her: You don't think you'll have another kid?

Me: I'm 38 I don't think so.

Her: At least you're a guy and you can if you want one. I'm the one with a timeline.

Me: Well I guess you better hurry. If I have to spend $20,000 to make sure he's with me I'm prepared to do that.

Her: Ok well I guess I'll think about that and get back to you.

Now she wont' see him again until Sunday morning. She's busy looking for a job working from home and plans to move with her mom closer to my house. Still has zero interest in being a family...I'll never understand it because we had a good life and always got along until she emotionally disconnected.

The crazy thing is after our chat on Saturday she asked me what I was going to be doing with our Son on Sunday and maybe she could come by and see him if we were around...like why on earth would I want to spend my day with Kai with her hanging around? I just told her we had plans but if they changed I'd let her know. Plan didn't change but I wouldn't have contacted her anyways.