Gerda Rises Up to Go On

[Gerda]

Not even sure where to begin -- but yesterday, Oct 1, I had to pay H $2500, order of the judge. For a couple of days, he kept writing to me that I should pay it early because his landlord wanted the rent early. I ignored that.

On Oct 1, I opened up e-mail, and there was an endless vicious diatribe from M about my "late" payment and the announcement that he would be moving back in that afternoon.

I ignored that. I didn't have the money at all, so I put it on a credit card on PayPal and took off $500 for the child support he was supposed to pay. I had rented a car to take D10 to the beach for the day and was trying to get out the door.

Within a few minutes, huge onslaught of texts that if I didn't give him the whole thing in an hour, he would be at the door and I should let him know which floor or rental unit he should move into and he was glad because he wanted to see his son and be in his home and gather his things. S14 wasn't coming to the beach, and I was terrified that H would show up. All my L could offer as advice was to change the locks and call the police. I was out walking the dog and beelined to the locksmith to come change the locks while I was at the beach. I had promised D10 all summer we could do this day trip and there was no way I was going to cancel but I didn't want problems with S14 seeing H or with our renters witnessing any drama.

And so I decided to put the other $500 on the card. I figured it was better that we report he didn't pay child support than that I risked not following the order -- but most of all it was worth $500 to avoid a scene in front of the kids and all the horror of trying to keep him out.

I didn't read the long note, sent it to my BF, but I saw a little of it. He is unraveling even more than usual. And kept talking about his home and how he needed his home and time at our rental upstate, his "lucrative and 'lovely homes". It's interesting -- When he was H, home was such a big deal to him because his parents were never really making him feel at home and he had left his country as a little boy and ended up as a latchkey kid, etc. When he started going crazy, he kept talking about the idea of home and how he would create his own home since I didn't make him welcome in ours. (This was total rewriting, home was total sanctuary and I loved making things homey for my family, we always loved being at home and working on things together.)

More notes followed but eventually he calmed down after my BF wrote him back with some details about our finances and why he had to find a cheaper place, and he was able to see that I was serious about sending his crazy notes to her and not reading them.

Today he wrote to me and my BF a very normal sounding note that I had to pay the back rent on his storage unit and also really nice paragraph about he fixed the car and I was welcome to use it any time!!! ?????

Lord it is tiring.