Midlife wife crisis10

[Wolfman]

DS9 thank you for that. I have done a lot of reading about MLC. At this point I feel like an expert. I know this is what she is going through. It’s just that I am running out of patience. It’s been over a year and I have hurt way too much. I don’t know if I want to be the lighthouse anymore. I just want to start finding the joys in life again.

IH you are right I have spent a lot of time worrying and being depressed about this. First my IC says that this is normal, I am grieving the loss of my marriage. Everyone grieves at different rates. You made a lot of good points about how she interacts with me and other people. I am just being the best person possible. And I am doing it for me. This is the new me if she recognizes it great, if not still great. I needed to go through the pain of this separation/divorce it’s the only way I would get better. IH I am now trying to save myself. She is no longer becoming number 1 in my life. It’s me now!!!

MLCxH her fantasy world is out of control. And I see it getting worse. The way she is spending money, her behavior towards me and the kids (very angry) looking for any reason to go out. We have good jobs but the financial hole
She must be putting herself in must be deep. And I know she sees me happy and that pisses her off. I am trying to find little positive things each day to make me happy or smile.

Now onto what happened yesterday. Yesterday I was out with the kids and I received a text from her, that we need to talk when I bring the kids back. I said ok what is it about. She replied we just need to talk face to face. I bring the kids back to the house and she was out. So I got the kids to shower and get ready for bed. I went into the den to watch tv until she got home. When she got home she said hello and got right to it. We need to talk about 2 things. I said ok. The first was about who was Gerri g the kids what days because there were some days off coming up. We took care of that. Second she goes why am I hearing it from 3 separate people that you are dating someone I know. I said what?? I told her I am not dating anyone she knows and that these people are lying. Then she said when had proof of it. I said really? Because it has to be made up because I am born dating anyone she knows. She said I don’t know why you need to hide it and I need to hear it from other people. I told her I am not hiding anything. I said who are these people accuse me of dating? She refused to tell me. She said I don’t care I’m happy for you just don’t know why it’s a secret. I said there is no secret it’s not true. I told her many people were jealous of our marriage and now that we are going through this there are many people who are ecstatic about our divorce. And they are looking to add more fuel to the fire. So at this point I was so annoyed I said I hope at least she is hot. She said well I don’t like this person anyway and you guys are good for each other. I said really. Again I have no idea who you are talking about. Then she actually had the nerve to say. That she was embarrassed to hear this from other people and that they asked her if this was going on during our marriage and if this is the reason for us getting divorced. I’m telling everyone on here she is out of her f mind. I never once had an inappropriate conversation with another woman let alone cheat. I told her you are out of your mind if you believe something was going on during our marriage. She said I don’t care just don’t know why it’s a secret. I soaked you really aren’t going to tell me who it is. She said no because then you will hide it more. And she walked away.

I know I shouldn’t have engaged in that much conversation, now. But I was totally thrown off guard by that because none of that is true. My question is how should I have handled that? Also, if she is d me and has told me she doesn’t have those feelings anymore, why does she care if I’m dating anyway? She wanted me to confess to her but yet says it doesn’t matter. The. Why are we even having this conversation? My head is spinning.