Sorry you are here but you came to the right place. (Interesting name BTW).
Regarding my handle, I have a real dry sarcastic sense of humor, and I tend to make light of situations...
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Here's my question to you- do you even want to be married to a serial cheater? Are you holding onto the hope that maybe she will change and stop this behavior? And what if she doesn't?
This is the first time that I've been confronted with this situation, so I don't have a clear cut answer yet. I flip flop on my thoughts on this daily. Since I've done my share of mistakes, I'd like us to both learn from our mistakes and have an opportunity to see if it is salvageable. I feel like up to this point, we never really truly communicated the underlying issues as with all MR with built up resentment.
Having said that, it's hard to have a fair chance with AP/OM and fog in the picture right now. Or maybe really there is no such thing as fog, and I'm just not wanting to hear the message. I'm constantly reminding myself of that possibility too.
I guess this is why most people are here in the first place? :P
Originally Posted by firemann
Just curious - has she ever voiced up that her alcohol consumption is a problem? You situation is interesting to me as it seems she really goes from one extreme to the other (wanting to fix the marriage vs. leaving to outright be with the OM). I feel like you need to setup a boundary saying: either the alcohol goes or you go.
We've discussed it and attempted to drink "responsibly" without professional help. It always seems to slip back into habit. I like drinking too, so I don't want to pretend that I'm perfect... just not as compulsive.
Alcohol surfaces / exaggerates issues by lowering inhibition, but I assume the desire is somewhere in the back of the mind? Just in the news recently, someone got drunk and went out and shot a bunch of people, I don't think normal people do that due to alcohol...
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
You listed some things you can work on like breaking things in anger. What the heck is that? Don't do that my man!!! When your gf/by/wife/husband asks for help you usually should give it to them. Relationships feel like more give then take because we are selfish by nature.
Thanks, I know... I've done a 180 on this after realizing the long lasting damage it can cause a relationship.
