If people ask me about the biggest thing i would change ( i tried, pleaded, begged etc for approx 2 months prior to minding this site ) it would be not kicking her @SS out sooner. Out of my whole sitch its the lack of self respect that still eats me up... I put up with it from October until December, then had cake eating for another month.. 2 to 3 months of crap.. Yes i've lost seing my kids daily, yes i am single at 39 and now i have a biggest mortgage.. But the thing that kicks me the most is my own stupid weekness when all this started..
A 2x4 named "truth" But in your and my and every other LBS's defense, we get blindsided by BD and we are reeling and almost all of us go through that phase of begging and pleading and generally making fools of ourselves. It's part of the process to recovery I think. It has to happen. But as the saying goes- "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Let me tell you, I learned my lesson! My GF and I have gone through some rough times and when she says something like "maybe we should break up" I say "I think you're right, that's for the best" and then I go dark. Inevitably a day or two later she's back crying and apologizing. I will never be anyone's doormat again, not for a month or a week or a day or an hour!
So Curtis, hopefully these 2x4's aren't knocking you down. You are hurting and suffering and miserable and in that state is is darned tough to think and see clearly. And it's also tough to read harsh advice, I know it's hard because it was for me too. But that's what's great about this place is that we can help you cut through the fog. So try to read and learn and adapt. You can do this!
Last edited by job; 10/02/1904:05 AM. Reason: edited language
But in your and my and every other LBS's defense, we get blindsided by BD and we are reeling and almost all of us go through that phase of begging and pleading and generally making fools of ourselves. It's part of the process to recovery I think. It has to happen. But as the saying goes- "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Let me tell you, I learned my lesson! My GF and I have gone through some rough times and when she says something like "maybe we should break up" I say "I think you're right, that's for the best" and then I go dark. Inevitably a day or two later she's back crying and apologizing. I will never be anyone's doormat again, not for a month or a week or a day or an hour!