I appreciate this forum as a place to vent. Currently my wife and I are getting along in our new circumstances. New meaning she is a different person. She is in the midst of her MLC and I wouldn't doubt Replay. I believe my wife has settled for our marriage. She recognizes that her fantasy life is not plausible and that what she currently has is what it is. By all means this [censored], but I am doing everything I can to believe that she is not herself right now and that her feelings will return. I do believe she has feelings for other "man" or at least the fantasy of escaping. It hurts to think she her feelings for me have not returned and scares me to think they won't.
At home we function as normal as can be with the obvious Elephant lingering. We have sex regularly and we both enjoy this. We treat each other with respect and kindness. We even embraced in a hug and she told me that she is happy while on our 1st date in 8 months. I feel like she is trying but her feelings are still lost. It [censored] that she makes me feel like our 20 years together have been a farce and that I was never her true love. It [censored] to think she has feelings for other man even though they stopped talking 7 months ago. (As far as I know, 80% certain) We do flirt a bit which is nice, but once again I feel like she does things to just keep the peace. (wandering brain)
My biggest fear is that things will get better but she will relapse into another depression or question her happiness. I can totally see how anyone that offers their spouse excitement and recognition could cause them to sway.
Has anyone been in a situation where they lived with their spouse in MLC and things started to get better?
The first 6 months I followed Sandi's rules as best as I could and I still am in many areas. Should I even attempt to "Court" my wife or is it falling on deaf ears?
I feel like any current attempt to show my wife all the positives of our marriage will backfire. If she currently doesn't have romantic feelings for me but all the "good" is right in front of her then she will think it's just not meant to be.
It's difficult to maintain my "fake it till I make it" attitude. I have this lingering anxious feeling because of it.
Things I know I need to work on: I can't control her feelings. This takes time. Live my own life. Have faith in the process.
