Gerda, it's not you...it's him. Work through the pain and then release it. You have to continue moving forward and not look in the rear view mirror for what once was is now in the past. Focus on you and your children and getting through the next few months.
Job, as usual your post had so many tidbits for me to stick into my brain. Thank you! This one above most of all. It's amazing how often we LBS's need to re-hear that it's them and not us. Though I guess I mostly do know it's him, I just get confused about what choice I should make as a result!
I am trying to work through the pain, and to not look too far ahead, as you say. I am really really suffering but trying to just let myself sit with it. Tonight I was the reader at Mass and after I sat back down I was thinking, "OK, I am really suffering but I just stood up and gave my reading to all these people, I am still able to give something even though I can barely function." The rest of the Mass I let myself go and just cried in my little corner but I think I need to do that for a few days. Sometimes I think of this whole thing as a first earthquake at BD1 and then all these aftershocks, sometimes almost as big as the first BD and sometimes just little violent tremors.
Last edited by Gerda; 09/30/1902:39 AM.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
