Midlife wife crisis10

[Wolfman]

Thank you everyone those were great posts.

Ironwill I am working at picking myself up. I try everyday and say today will be a good day. I try to do things that make me happy and feel better. The days I don’t have the kids I hit the gym for about 1.5 hours. Usually feel much better after that. When I have the kids I try and plan things for us to do.

IH you are very right about what goes on in the head. I am my own worse enemy. My mind is constantly bringing me down. Thinking about the past and how it was. What is my future going to be like? It creates all this anxiousness and anxiety. I just really miss the family dynamic, a lot. We were a team and that is gone. I do get stuck a lot. Then I try to unstick myself. That is not always easy. I’m trying to do more things by myself, trying to get comfortable with myself again. IH you brought up so many great points. I feel like we are living the same life at times. With our w buying us out, not wanting this, few friends, struggling. There are some days that are good. But when they are bad, they are bad. It’s so sad how I hate nice days now. Because it just feels like it’s a day I have no one to share it with.

Dejavu I don’t get it. How can things be going so well and this is the path they choose? My situation was close to that, as far as how we lived life. Our only debt was our home. Money in the bank, 5 vacations a year, big beautiful home, 3 nice cars, 2 beautiful healthy kids, a husband who was around to help all the time. Yet she had the nerve to say numerous times, “I wouldn’t wish this life on my worse enemy.” Are you serious??? You know how many people would kill to have this life and you say that. For my w it was never enough. She always wanted more and more and more. So yeah at times I had to tell her we couldn’t go on that $10,000 vacation, we don’t have the money for it. My kids also did a million activities so that took a lot of our money. And yet still never dipped into savings. I worked my tail off to make sure we were never in debt, picked up another job to help pay for everything. I even asked her if it was ok I did this other job. She said yeah, but then get mad when I worked. This job made it so we could go on nicer vacations. But yet she would find something wrong or a problem. All I ever wanted to do was make my wife and kids happy. They were my world, my life. For some reason she never saw my dedication and hard work to the family. How many husbands have 2 careers, clean the house, food shop, do the landscaping, clean up after dinner, take the kids to activities, pat all the bills, take out the garbage, make the kids lunch, and yet she felt I didn’t care? I get part of it now that, that was not her love language. and yet at times she would compare me to other husbands how they do things for their wives.WHAT?? A lot of friends and family say it’s not me. I believe that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. And when this all started I moved into the basement, to make her happy, I sacrificed again. Even though many people on here told me not too. We have a wall in the dining room with all the vacations we went on, how can she look at those and not see a great life??? I remember one time we were sitting in the dining room with her 2 girlfriends. My w said to them that we barely go away or do anything. They BOTH said are you crazy?? You go away more than both of us combined. They both said we don’t do half of what you guys do. I said to my w see we do, do a lot. She actually then said to them no it’s not that much. It’s like she doesn’t see any of it. She is in a fantasy world.
This is one of the many reasons it hurts me, I worked so hard to give her this life and she took it for granted and then made me feel like I did nothing for her or loved her. Women use to tell me all the time that hey wished their husbands did half of what I did. My buddies would say I made them look bad on what I got and did for my w. Yet she saw none of that!!

Yesterday was a great day!!! I took my kids to a farm to Apple pick, corn maze, hayrides and corn hole. The kids had so much fun we were there for about 5 hours. Then I took them out to eat and did something called slot car racing. We had a awesome day together. It was so much fun. I love those kids more than anything and miss them so much when they are not with me.
Thanks for listening. Comments feedback I look forward too. This forum helps.