Gerda, you and I look at the world very differently, but I see your pain tonight and I want you to know, from someone who has been there, that there is a place beyond the pain. Neither the divorce nor these feelings will last forever. As for your H and the OW, I worked in a place that had a policy never to hire people who had previously left. You see, experience had taught them that some people are convinced there is something better out there, so they are never happy. Or they try something new, and don't like it, and want to return to the old, but they aren't happy when they do. The same things that caused them to leave were still there when they returned. Retreading old, failed ground, is not a sign of happiness or moving on. Quite the opposite. And don't feel bad about what you said to your D. He was very wrong to take her around this woman, particularly without discussing it with you. Everyone complains about the erosion of values, but if you want your children to have a sense of yours, you have to take a stand against the things that threaten them.
