Originally Posted by CWarrior
Originally Posted by "Rick71"
So, I'm still considering going with the separation/divorce route, I just don't want to do it until i'm absolutely sure that's the way I want to go as once it goes there, there's no coming back.

Rick, I don't buy this. I had 'ways back' for 3yrs after I divorced my ex-wife. Unless you mean you'd consider her if she changed now, but you wouldn't consider her if she changed after you filed for divorce.


CW, by "no coming back", what I meant by it is I can't threaten divorce without going thru. That would make me look weak. I want to be sure that's the path I want to take.
As far as considering getting back with W before or after a divorce, I wouldn't shut the door on it either way, I just feel like I don't want to live with her in my life while she's with the other man.


Originally Posted by LH19
R,

It’s highly unlikely if you initiate D that it changes anything. If your hunch is true and the A has been going on for that long she will likely D you when son leaves. I would let her do all the dirty work and just start planning a life for post D.


I'm not looking at filing D to make any changes in her. If she decided to work on the marriage after talking D, I wouldn't believe anything she said related to recon, it would only be to buy her more time to get her plans in place.


Me 48, W 47
T30, M24
D22, S18
BD 7/6/2019