I remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint, dig for more patience and cling to the belief that this will continue to get better over time.
It is wonderful to hear about your grand relationship with your children, and the other successes in your professional arena. Both, at times, for me and I’m guessing a great many of us, seem unexpected. It really should not.
When one survives and overcomes such difficult times, and heals from such pain and darkness; some very great and worthy insights are gained. This is an incredible opportunity for growth and personal success. A true blessing, in the most hidden of ways.
These personal gains reflect in our relationship with our children and those around us. Successes start to build as more and more people realize the changes within you. Compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and such - ideals that raise one’s emotional quotient; the thing that allows us to connect with others. Success has to follow. It’s a state of mind, we create it.
I have about the worst relationship with my XW as one can have. She seems completely indifferent to me. We have not spoken in a year and a half. Our R is as dismal as one can get - basically there is no relationship, no co-parenting ( if such a thing can actually exist), no anger, no messages through the kids, just nothing. However, my kids, my parents, my friends, my colleges at work, my mangers, all see the changes in me, my passions, the fire within. Those relationships are so much better than they were before. And so many opportunities have arisen because of the changes within me.
I believe God also sees the changes within me, and is pleased. His and my relationship is better too.
The big thing - I am pleased with my changes.
I believe you are of a similar path regarding personal changes and their benefits.
Your relationship with W has its ups and downs, and is, overall, slowly getting better (much different than mine). Which brings me to the aforementioned quote.
This is most definitely a marathon and one needs volumes of patience. Your relationship with W is getting better over time and should continue to get better. You can see that. Do you believe that?
A belief need not to be clung to. It clings to you. A belief is you.
A gardener nurtures, tends, waters, and cares for the plants and flowers. They cannot make them grow. They can only influence. The flowers grow on their own, at their pace.
We are all flowers and gardener within the soil of our relationships. For ourselves, the blooms we can control - shine those fully. And for the dormant flowers still wrapped within its sleeping petals - continue to nurture. See and believe in the wonderful blooms still to come.
You are a compassionate loving person. Keep tending the budding relationship.
I believe in you my friend.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
if such a thing can actually exist), no anger, no messages through the kids, just nothing. However, my kids, my parents, my friends, my colleges at work, my mangers, all see the changes in me, my passions, the fire within. Those relationships are so much better than they were before. And so many opportunities have arisen because of the changes within me.