Well...What keeps fantasy from becoming reality right now... 1. My mind is too hosed to make any lifetime decisions yet. 2. I have to get through my son’s adoption mid October. I can’t have the civil action pending when the adoption occurs. 3. I don’t want to tell my sisters about this if I stay with the W. 4. They’re coming to stay for about a week and it would ruin the adoption celebration for them. This has been a very complex and difficult process for our family and is worthy of a celebration unencumbered by this BS. 5. I talked a line about deciding not to let the birthday discovery bother me. It did and does. It has taken me back About 90% from BD. I’m hoping my mind recovers faster though. 6. I’m committed not to make decisions based on my emotional state. 7. I have to see if DBing works. It’s too soon to tell and I have time. 8. I need more time to be a better me.
I don’t really have confidence that I won’t have to divorce. The W is going to be working there where he is. She won’t quit or move or entertain those options. She’s deep in her fog. I’m GALing enjoying my kids and can avoid the future financial constraints right now with her income still contributing.
Sleep would be awesome right now! Gonna try again...
Me 56 W 42 T14 M12 ILYBINILWY 08/07/19 BD 08/11/19 Discovered Whaaaat? 2 Kids One DD 30mos Adopted from Foster 12/18 One DS 17mos Adopting First week of Sept 19 Separate BR 08/15/19
