I think the easier said then to do just speaks volumes . The detaching and distancing is quite hard . Today I had plans to GAL . He had plans to spend time with kids at my home while I was out . Gal has been such a great resource for me I didn’t even realize I ever needed more of . He came earlier then expected . Questioned where I was 3 times before I came home . Came home I said hello pleasantly , now my usual is to kiss him hello . Nope a friendly wave and up I went to get dressed for GAL . I was planning on just changing and leaving . I’m starting to see the pursuit n distance a bit clearer now . As I was headed out here comes H on pursuit walks over grabs me kisses me . When You said saying is easier then doing you are spot on ! It felt so wrong but I just said sorry I’m running late I have to go . I really just wanted to kiss him back and ask about his day . But didn’t . I left . I just tell myself the man standing there kissing me is not my husband but a reflection of what he was and in a few hours he will be back to a man I do not know .

GAL was so much fun . Shopping , dinner and a few drinks with one of my friends . Felt great just to be me again smile Not planning my night around what anyone else was doing or my husband .

When I came home I heard my H on phone with a friend . I don’t know the context of why it was said but I heard “this is why I got married “ . I acted as if I didn’t hear it and went to feed the dog .