Shame and devastation

[DaB35]

When you read DR this will fall into place. Could you get it delivered to work instead? Might arrive quicker.

I've learned this - write the letter to get the thoughts out. Then do NOT send it.

I wrote a letter. It was 2 pages of A4. I was going to give it to my W. You can check my part 1/2 thread to read it here. I did not send it. I'm glad I didn't.

It will push her further away. You will be pursuing her. She doesn't want that.

Detach. Or, to put another way, 'Drop the rope'. Let her go. Focus on you. It is the complete opposite of what you want to do. You want to write that letter and send 50 roses to her and turn up outside the house playing the guitar or something. Then she runs to you and everything's fine. It doesn't work like that.
Instead, detach. You cannot control her. You can control yourself. Since I detached - I haven't seen my W for 2 weeks (we've been separated since May), and I haven't had any contact from her at all for a week - I've never felt happier about ME. Lots of people tell me I look so much better and healthier. Never realised how much I put myself down. No I rarely have negative thoughts about myself. My posture is better, I eat healthy, I exercise, I walk a little slower, I relax a bit more. It has been a boost.

Do it. You'll notice a change in yourself quickly. Took me about a week. Doesn't mean be rude or standoffish with your W. Just detach. Act as if you are fine.

And stay off Facebook! If you need to use it - hide her, hide your relationship status, whatever. Make it a big effort ot check up on her so you don't do it.

To reiterate - do NOT send a letter to her.