Obviously it’s all one sided but many of your wives or ex’s do not currently deserve to be in a relationship with you. If she were a new woman would you “ wife her up or hit it and quit it”.
Absolutely would not even consider going out with my XW if she were a stranger I was just meeting. Most definitely would not "hit it", LOL! I would look at her now and say "no, not my type". She's not the woman I met 30 years ago that I vibed with right away. I am not disparaging her in any way, she is still a wonderful mother and she is a kind and caring person. Just not what I would consider relationship material.
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If she’s not wife material at this point do not treat her as such. She will just pull further away. Give all your energy to yourself - building a positive future and taking care of children, never accept less than 50/50 custody and stop pursuing your ex partner if she left you. That relationship is over. Cut the chord.
100% agree, although I know all too well it's difficult to do after you've been BD'd. It takes a while before you can get to this point!
Funny, because this is precisely the point I just made in my own thread.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018