I totally understand where you’re coming from when you say your tired. I also always remember your story not following the script that we see here so many times. I believe I even once said that IMO if your W had a job and her OM was accessible she would have most likely divorced you. Until they get out there and experience reality the fantasy never goes away.
I like you wasn’t the greatest husband for the first 13 years but was able to show my ex the best of me for a year and a half but it wasn’t enough to overcome the 13 not so good years. I’m still a true believer that true reconciliations only happens after time and space. Maybe a separation isn’t a bad idea.
Take some time and process your emotions and see how you feel in a few weeks.
