This is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with.
Yes, it is. It is incredibly painful. However, I try to look at it this way - there can be no growth without pain. I don't always succeed in thinking that, but i give it an effort every day.
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I don’t have a friend who is divorced. All of my friends are married. It is hard to find people to hang out with.
Yes I know the feeling. I live thousands of miles from my family. All of my friends are also married, engaged, or were "couple friends" with myself and W. You know what i do? I hang out with them anyway. Is it awkward and weird at first? Yes. But i like them, I still want to be friends with them and they still want to be friends with me.
I suggest you do not isolate yourself from your real life friends. That's not healthy, Wolf - you need to get out there and force yourself to do it. You will feel better, maybe not at first, but the more you do it the more you will get used to it.
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Accepting the end of my m is extremely difficult. Just like everyone on here never imagined. I never imagined my w would be doing this. She always wanted to portray this perfect life we had, then she snapped. Iron will you asked if there was anything I wanted to do for myself and the answer is no, my life was my family and my enjoyment.
I really need everyone’s help here. Really just the support. It’s obvious I am struggling, I am trying real hard to find positive in my life. But it’s hard. My family was my world and I know people say you still have your kids but it’s not the same. Some days my thoughts go real dark. I have no one. I’m not use to that. Because of my marriage I don’t have a lot of friends anymore. I always feel alone. That’s why I love this board. I know everyone on here has a life but it means so much to me when people respond. I never thought this divorce would break me this bad I was such a strong independent person before I was married. I became husband and family man and lost my sense of strength. Everyday I feel sick to my stomach hoping I will wake from this nightmare. LH tells me all the time I use logic and he is right. How giving up this life we built is better than staying married. I just wish her MLC would end. And my “wife” would come back. Because she is not the same person. Please people I know I am not as strong as a lot of you on here, but please just stay with me. This board is the only place I find strength and love. Most days I feel like the zombies from the walking dead.
We won't give up on you, Wolf. If you ever need to talk, someone will be here to help you. But at the end of the day the only one who can do anything about your situation is you.
You are the one who has the power to control your life. You are the one who has to pick yourself up after getting knocked out. If you think about it, even in a marriage, partners can help each other but they can only do so much. they cannot force the other person to do anything. "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink."
The person who gets knocked down has to want to help themselves first, then that person needs to do something about it. Take some action. Think positively and get busy doing things about it, even if they don't want to at first.
I feel for you man. This is a tough situation that you didn't want. But there has to be something you wanted to do in life before you met your W. Think about it. Make a list here, take some time and write it out. You will be surprised at how much you always wanted to do.
