I skimmed your situation. If it wasn't obvious to your wife initially, it's painfully clear by now you love her and you're trying your very best to make this work for yourself and your family.
If AnotherStander says he learned most of his validation skill from RetroV--wow! I've been reading about listening, validation, and empathy for weeks. My relationship with my partner, family, colleagues, and even ex's improved. It's the best skill I've learned in years. Yet.. I hear nuances in his posts I haven't mastered.
I hope this weekend is a great learning experience. I hope having tried it all, it will also enable you to step out of limbo--either with your wife towards marriage, or on your own towards a faithful partner.
