Not willing to quit

[Turbine]

Two more days at Fermi and then I am job hunting. (Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm job hunting) I did get a list from the engineer I am reporting to of the agencies they hire contractors from. So that is a plus. Letters of recommendation... also a plus.

Still not getting home. Cardio night at the gym and Chick-fil-A for dinner. Just the sandwich. I ate in my car outside Ray's. He used to be my parents neighbor and I am currently staying with him. Good arrangement so far. Several pizzas, a few meals at Finn McCool's and a Chinese dinner so far. I take out the trash and help when I can. Ray is in his eighties and still really sharp.

I wanted to sit on my driveway and eat. (mile from Ray's) I want to sleep in my bed. i haven't been home since my trip to Spa Le'Psych in May. That was one of the biggest things I wanted to do while I was in that place. Some days this feeling is worse than others and time at the gym isn't enough. Talking to Jim, Johhny, Jack, or the tiki dude isn't the answer so that is out too.

Old boss said he would give me a recommend and asked if I would stop by. Coffee and catch up. He has a few ideas he wanted my opinion on. Why not.

She didn't make the mortgage payment this month. Following is the text exchange:

Me: I have not seen any email about the mortgage being paid for September. The house gets foreclosed there will be no money and still will owe. This is unacceptable.

Her: You pay some, you don't sign the divorce that applies still married.

Me:You didn't help for a year. You made me homeless. You changed the locks so I can't work on my stuff. I have been paying all the car insurance. Stop playing games. You want this then cooperate.
Me: I also will be unemployed October 1st.

Her:You're always like that..
Homeless??

Me: What did you think would happen? I have slept in my car.

Her: Because that's what you wanted, don't you realize? You keep telling me before when you are in the house, you always screamed at me to get out of the house and you would say not giving me any Penney and you put the house for foreclosure. Very sad thought..

Me: Yes, I yelled. I was loosing my forever partner. I didn't want this. I didn't want a roommate. I wanted my wife. Even though we were not agreeing.
Me: There was just too much.
Me: My behavior was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you for any reason. I hurt you by yelling.

Her: That partner it wasn't really yours, thats why this what happened. You don't take care of her nor depend. You treat her like a slave, she will never go back. You call her bitch. Ther's nothing for you to hope. You just wasting your time.

Me: I regret you feel that way. I regret calling you by any term that was disrespectful.

Yeah... some of that could be better on my part. Not sure about the third person stuff by her. She didn't know or ask about my working so the time at Fermi is unknown. Her last two sentences... Sees the changes and doesn't believe them? I don't know. Mountain out of a molehill on my part?

Well I am feeling a bit better. Tired too so maybe I will sleep really well tonight.