I did a lot of damage in my marriage over the course of 28 years. Angry, controlling, etc. Turns out it was untreated mental illness but it was too little too late. He was still attracted to me physically (and I him) but the connection wasn't there. I'd get angry about it which of course drove us further apart. I wanted him to be in love with me like I was him but he checked out years ago. I knew it of course. I just kept throwing things at it hoping something, anything would stick. Never happened.
He finally pulled the plug 7 months after I got a job. I suspect he's been planning this for years probably waiting until the kids were older, waiting until we sold the house, waiting until I got a job. He lined his ducks up so very perfectly. After we sold the house I thought "he's going to leave me" and he did. I ignored the feeling to my detriment.
I have no real advice other than to say I've been there. I know that after 18 months if I DB I won't care anymore. I can do anything for 18 months. Heck I'm already at 6 months. Yeah it stinks but this is out of my control.
