Separated and sorting #3

[MLCxH]

U,
Fade raises some very good points and you need to think hard about what is written in that post. To add a few more things:

And, to any outside observer or judge, you are the bad husband and dad who left them and didn't bother to see them more than every other weekend.

To add to what Fade said, one thing I have cautioned you in the past is that the longer you let this go, the more the kids get adjusted to this new routine. If you suddenly want to move them to a 50/50 custody after 2 years, are you not concerned this will be disruptive to their established routines and lives? At that point can you justify that your need for 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the kids and not just a selfish need for you to see your kids more?

You are fixated on her feelings, her apparent fear, but it is your fear that is the problem here. Those are your kids in your house - why cant you drive over and give them a hug? What is stopping you other than your own fear?

From what I see, your NGS is still very strong. You worry more about what your wife will think rather than speaking up for your (and kids) best interest. Also, you are you are "planning" for a perfect future with 50/50 custody of the kids, great co-parenting with your W etc. when the foundation for all that is rapidly eroding away in the current time while you focus on the future 2-3 years from now.

She has every reason to fight to maintain this situation forever.

I don't even see her fighting to maintain this. You are effectively just following her rules and not even putting up a proper fight.