Things have changed. It all takes time. I feel like myself again. It’s nice that I’m not struggling as much financially since ex was sanctioned 3 times and is basically covering my legal fees (for now). I felt very stuck for a long time. The situation was quite dire, and now I’m back... not totally free yet, but I’m back to myself.
Anyway, I was working on a presentation this evening and looking for a photo (yessssss I add pics of my dog to my PowerPoints..... when relevant, of course ) and I came across some old photos of ex that I couldn’t bring myself to delete way back when. And now..... they are gone! I felt it was time and so I deleted, deleted, deleted. I did get sad when going through some of the pics because I could remember the fear and sadness at the time. So much sadness. It was so painful going through it. Ugh. Just awful. I looked at our photos from our last anniversary dinner together. He had no emotion in those eyes. You could tell he was gone. That was the night he said- if we’re not pregnant in two months there’s no point in being married.
Looking at where I’m at right now—- That statement above makes me sad. I’m starting to accept that I might not be in a position to have biological children and should maybe think of adopting. At the same time that really opens me up to refocusing on going back to school and doubling down on career aspirations. I don’t know. My birthday is in a couple weeks and I’m no closer to being in a relationship or being a mom. I have to accept this.... it’s tough.
Other than that, I feel like I’ve landed on my feet and I’m ok.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
) and I came across some old photos of ex that I couldn’t bring myself to delete way back when. And now..... they are gone! I felt it was time and so I deleted, deleted, deleted. I did get sad when going through some of the pics because I could remember the fear and sadness at the time. So much sadness. It was so painful going through it. Ugh. Just awful. I looked at our photos from our last anniversary dinner together. He had no emotion in those eyes. You could tell he was gone. That was the night he said- if we’re not pregnant in two months there’s no point in being married. 
