Mixed Emotions About Divorce...

[SoTorn]

Read all of the links above. They are not advertisements. They are guides. Although, every situation is different, when you have a wayward or walkaway spouse, the action you need to take is the same.

All wayward and walkaway spouses act very similar. In fact so similar its freaky and seems like its a script. Because of this, what you need to do is fairly straight forward yet very counterintuitive.

In short, you need to back off of your husband. You need to accept that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make him stop what he is doing. If you keep pushing, he will pull away faster and faster.

If he is cheating, you need to make the decision if thats a dealbreaker or not. It was for me and therefore I ended up divorced.

Right now you focus on you. Stop any negative behaviors that contributed to your 50% of the marriage. Better yourself. Go to the gym, get busy, get a life, get into the world and do something with yourself. Detach. Aka back off. Let him be. Focus solely on yourself. Doung what makes you happy. Drop all expectations of the marriage and any expectations you have of him. This is to protect yourself emotionally and may, and I mean may, impact him by making him feel the loss of you. But thats not the goal.

The goal is to get yourself to a point where you are not an emotional wreck and are ok with the possibility that you may end up single. Work on yourself. Become the strong, independent, emotionally mature woman who loves herself and gives herself what she deserves.

Stop all talks about the relationship. Stop begging, pleading, fighting etc. It does nothing positive. Read everything posted by Cadet. Read it again after. Keep posting, especially if you want to talk to your H or take any sort of action. It hurts and its a very long journey and process. But you will end up a better person single or married, if you appropriately apply these techniques to your life.