I haven't been drawn to the forums recently. Work has ramped up, life is busy, and all that is good. I had a great weekend with the kids.
Two weeks ago, my W agreed to work with me to arrange some parenting time for me (e.g., dinner with the kids) during my 10 day gaps. I brought it up this morning during our drop-off, as the kids were asking me when I would see them again. I have asked W 5-6 times in the last 2 weeks to let me know a good day or time for this. I also think it's always good to let the kids know the next time each of us will see them - this is like Separation/Divorce 101 advice for parents.
She responded really annoyed, and said, "So I'm just supposed to sit in my car outside the restaurant?"
Me: "No. I can drive the kids back your house after we finish" (the house is remote, but I don't mind).
Her: "I just feel like I'm sprinting a marathon running the kids around every day, and then there's this extra thing now.... And you can just leave work early to do this?"
Me: (holding back any reaction to this) "Absolutely."
Her: "OK we can talk about it tonight" (during our 1:1 phone call which she has avoided for the past 3 weeks).
I'm incredibly frustrated. No child development expert would say 10 days without parental contact with my kids' ages would be appropriate. My W committed to this two weeks ago. And when I'm trying to work with her, without getting emotional, she starts complaining how hard her life is.
I am trying really hard to follow MLCxH's recent advice - basically, try to handle my business and get what I want without resorting to D. And I know how most of us here focus on not taking the D step, this is D Busting after all. But some of these interactions with my W remind me of how controlling she was earlier in our MR too, how I let things slide, and how much it really bothered me then also. She has been projecting and mind-reading me for at least a year now, I feel like her description of me is like a completely different person than who I actually am. I just don't know if I could ever go back. I don't know why I'm even standing anymore.
