Last resort technique?

[ovrrnbw]

Thanks for the response AnotherStander.

You said, "When you tell a wayward what to do then what is their response? They rebel against you and do it anyway." Are we 100% sure she's wayward instead of a MLCer? Is it possible that she's just a walk-away spouse? Does it make a difference?

Yes it makes a difference IMO. I'm going to be softer on someone who is hurting so bad they want to leave than someone who is hurting so bad they want to leave and has an affair.

In response to her request for a dinner together, what if I say something like, "If you’re still talking to that other guy, I don’t think it’s a good idea." Thoughts?

Did you ever date a girl who had a boyfriend already? Would you continue on with a girlfriend if she was talking to OM? I hope you see my point.

Relationships are relationships. Marriage is a societal thing that really helps advance the human race beyond our monkey brains. Everyone understands the universal truths in relationships. Don't think about the formal marriage in this regard, but how you view relationships. I think that would be a fine thing to say. It's clear, it's about what you will do. Maybe take the "if" out of the front of the sentence.

Your story sounds familiar to so many here. Are you reading the other situations, looking for similarities, and learning from them?

I'm not sure that should be shunning her, just don't accept all of her invitations. You HAVE to work on your detachment. You have to be nonreactive, confident, strong. Learn how to control your emotions. Be attractive. Being the emotional person right now is not going to attract her back.

My bet is that the OM is a bit of a loser in some obvious ways. What are your good qualities? What are your bad qualities? How can you accentuate the positives about you and stomp out your weaknesses?

LH nailed the sex/plan B thing on the head. It has happened a million times before you. You need a pickup artist to help you in regards to attraction. That text was ill advised.