It feels horrible to be in the situation you're in. It really stinks and we all know how much it hurts.
I've only been here for about six weeks but I can tell you, you've come to the right place. There are soooo many people here who are so empathetic and have gone through this themselves.
I can tell you a few things advice wise that are working for me right now.
Heed the advice from Job above. Then, READ EVERYTHING ELSE THERE IS ON THIS BOARD. (Once you've read the above, do the rest in smaller doses.)
Say "STOP" out loud and breathe deeply when your mind goes to really crappy places.
Accept the thoughts and emotions you're having and feeling as completely normal even if they don't feel that way. (My mind is everywhere still.)
Don't make any decisions driven by emotion.You have time on your side so wait for all that. (I have to tell myself that daily.)
Even if you think its hocus pocus, get a meditation app and use it. It will calm your mind even if it's just for five minutes at a time. (I always thought that was crap. It's not.)
Keep posting.
Me 56 W 42 T14 M12 ILYBINILWY 08/07/19 BD 08/11/19 Discovered Whaaaat? 2 Kids One DD 30mos Adopted from Foster 12/18 One DS 17mos Adopting First week of Sept 19 Separate BR 08/15/19
