Is the rest of my life ruined???

[Traveler]

Sorry, Ske, sounds like a miserable evening. It's always easier to get this stuff perfect from the sidelines.

She started acting like I was insulting her about it and started raising her voice. I asked her to calm down..

Oh, gosh! That line often triggers the opposite.

Few things on planet earth are more frustrating than someone dismissing your emotions. This is particularly irritating for women, for whom being called "crazy" or "irrational" has long felt like an effort to discredit us on the basis of gender.
https://www.bustle.com/p/6-ways-to-respond-when-someone-tells-you-to-calm-down-7735703

"The Muse" lists four alternatives: (1) Listen, (2) Empathize, (3) Offer to Help, (4) Breathe.

It's like they stole 3 of 4 responses from the DB playbook!

I'm pretty sure I'm not a narcissist but I had to look it up. Otherwise, she wouldn't have come up with the narcissism angle. She's very smart but that's not really in her wheelhouse.

Narcissism and the related term Gaslighting are commonly discussed in divorce groups. I somehow imagine the secretly cheating partner to being higher on the narcissism index.