Just checking in how things are going for you. My W and I took a 1 month break from MC and are going back next week - got me thinking about trial separations and MC and then “I wonder how things are with SteveS?”
Hey, thanks for checking in. I've been - and no offense to anyone - somewhat avoiding coming back here, because frankly I'm getting a lot of different advice and more than ever I'm confused about the "right" way to do things. This forum is particularly hard line on no contact, others think I should write a letter from a place of confidence and strength, others think I should just cut the cord, and on and on. So I took a break to focus on myself: reading books, working out, attending therapy, and all that good stuff.
Overall I'm in an OK place, or at least I was until today. Today was move out day, so it's goodbye to the marital home for not just her, but for me as well. It was really, really hard, and it's difficult to put a positive spin on it - it's smaller, it's in a busier neighborhood, further from work, and so on. And that's just the pragmatics; obviously it's super hard emotionally too.
WAW started a new job last week (for those who don't recall, she was consulting part-time while working on her act and in the community) and she's been even more busy than usual. I'm frustrated that she just doesn't really appear to be "working" on anything - her words were that she wanted the S to remove us from our negative behaviors, and for her to understand what she wanted and whether or not there was a future for the MR. Well, she just appears to me to be working and volunteering her self to death, and I know her well enough to do it's because she doesn't really want to think about or process anything painful.
She was also once super gung-ho about getting the legal separation documents out of the way, now it seems like it's #100 of her 100 priorities at any given time. I'm definitely scared it's just fizzling out at this point, but I don't know how to stop it. Relative to MC, we're still going on a bi-weekly basis, although she's going by herself this session because of one I had by myself a few sessions back. In that session, I was boosted a lot by our therapist, who said that he rarely sees a LBS take initiative and charge the way that I have.
Other than that, not much else has changed. GAL is going well, I feel better about myself physically and have noticed many women checking me out. Thanks to a few really good books ("Wired For Love" in particular, and of course NMMG) I'm very, very cognizant of the behaviors I brought to the table that caused the S. I'd be lying however if I said I didn't love my WAW and wish to reconcile, because I *know* armed with the things I know now, we'd have such a better time of it.
