11 months post-BD. My venting to friends and family about W continues to dwindle. Everyone knows her personality and how she can be. I have received more than enough validation on this from all sides including her family and mutual friends. Unsolicited. I'm focusing as much as possible on staying on the high road, at least verbally. I can convey what I want to with a look or a shoulder shrug.
Still room for improvement in my interactions with W. I don't want to see her but I have to twice a week. I keep it cool and quick. Too cool, which is a sign I am not fully detached. We all have areas to improve, this is one of mine. I'm not going for warm, just less cool is the goal at this point. I can do it. When I am completely detached I believe I will feel it. It may take awhile longer, and that's okay, I am good with where my head is now 90% of the time. Getting all the way there is a process, and I am trying to be honest with myself and not buy into the false positives of "I'm detached!" that occur on the journey.
I am thoroughly enjoying my new home and could not imagine being back in my old house with W. It never even crosses my mind, not even in a flash millisecond. I am probably going to be a renter for a few years before i buy another house, and that's okay. I am living as much in the moment as possible. My life is so much better now than it was during IHS and during my MR after W ramped up her criticism and nastiness. No more walking on eggshells, no more getting prepped for conflict on the way home from work, no more power struggles, no more disrespect, no more blame-games, no more negativity and glass is half empty BS. It's over, and over for good. I can't believe i dealt with that shyt for so long, just goes to show the power of wanting to keep a family unit together is so strong, you do things your old self would laugh at and say "are you kidding, NEVER!" Now i can just say "NEVER AGAIN'.
