Persistent Endurance (Part 6)

[curtis7]

My best advice for Retro is to quit thinking about it. Go in with a fresh mind. Drop any expectations you have about it. I'll tell you right now it's very unlikely to trigger a 180 in your wife, she's not to that point yet. Go into it not expecting your M to be saved, but rather accept it as a learning experience for you. It didn't save my M but I did learn a lot. I learned 90% of what I know about listening and validating there.

Thanks AS! I appreciate the advice. Sounds like I will become a validation expert, a useful tool in a relationship. She’s definitely had her feelings through all of this and mine have mostly been in direct conflict. I will be careful not to judge as they were real for her regardless of whether I felt they were right or wrong.

I will go and trust the process. I do hope we make it through the weekend and the six post sessions. If we can make it through that over the next couple months, we’ll have passed the 1 year anniversary of BD. I feel completing the entire program would demonstrate some level of willingness and commitment. More-so than just cake eating I would think. Small steps in the right direction. At the very least I will learn new skills and grow as a person.