He came home with firewood from the ranch (he was there overnight with family). Fixed the plugged sink, unloaded the firewood, started the fire for me, visited and chatted, had some dinner, it was very pleasant and comfortable all afternoon. He has just left for town-staying with his sister tonight as he's driving BIL to hospital for surgery in am. Kissed me goodbye, promises to text tonight.
So, I broached the subject of communication. I said "if we're trying to reconcile, we have things to talk about. I'm tired of just "ambushing" you when thoughts cross my mind, and I'm sure you have things to discuss with me". So-we've agreed on an hour a week "circle of trust" talk. Each of us gets 1/2 hr to bring up and discuss anything on our minds and lead the discussion. This is going to be difficult but I think if we talk first about establishing how we are going to do this (respectfully, honestly) and maybe have some kind of signal if it's just a little too much. First step to communication.
I will, over the course of a few weeks, bring up the cell phone/transparency issue. It's one of many. And you know, after all we've gone through, I'm okay with this taking time. When my mind starts bringing up issues, I can simply write it down and wait. And then prioritize which ones I actually really want to talk about, and hopefully get some answers. I need to know about the affair. I need to discuss the craziness of the facebook and text messages this summer. I'm even okay with asking him a question and letting him wait to answer it next time around. I also need to know what his issues have been with me, rather than just trying to guess. I do think he's motivated to do this, and if he's not, the truth will out soon enough. Again, I am ready to be on my own should it come to that.
Wish us luck.
Me: 57 H:60 Married: 25 yrs DB #1 June 4/19 "I love you forever" June 14/19 DB#2: June 19/19 ILYBINILWY
