Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Job, I agree entirely. You aren't a downer, you're a realist and you're confirming what my instincts are telling me. He's done none of the heavy lifting I've asked him to do, and I've been very point blank about what I need from him to get this back on track. I'm afraid there will actually be no back on track, and I'm becoming more and more comfortable with the idea. In retrospect we are once again dancing the pursuer/distancer dance. I set a heavy boundary ("if you're online dating, we are a business relationship only"), he gets closer. Then I get closer, and he starts distancing. At least I recognize it this time.

I don't think he has the emotional capability to actually grow up.

He will leave again, because Friday, once we've sorted out the money issues, I will be asking him to leave. I don't care where he goes, just go. At that point, as I know I can handle the bills, I will go dark-one text every 2 weeks on his payday with any bills that he needs to chip in on. If he wants to tell people I've thrown him out and it's my fault, oh well.

It's so bizarre-that he tells people we are "working on a reconciliation", kisses me good-bye in the morning, calls me 'hon', he tells me everywhere he's going and what he's doing, is working around the house-BUT-the two things I've asked him for? No. That speaks volumes.

I'm sad, but I'm okay.