Organic Blue Sky

[HaWho]

Hi all - long time no post, but think of you and this place often.

Life is good and improves all the time! I am busy and happy. Life is easier - so very much so!
In hindsight I feel like I was carrying an anvil around!

I did just write a post but think I did not submit and lost it. So here is a shorter version.

Ex continues to ignore me at kids’ events. But, recently he reached out and offered to dogsit on a weekend I am going to a family wedding with my boys! Sadly, this is newsworthy in my sitch as he has been seething anger for years and this is the first glimpse of kindness I have seen from him in years! He told me had had no plans and could take the dog. I accepted and thanked him graciously. I certainly don’t hope or think about any sort of reconciliation; quite the opposite actually. In fact, I have begun dating a guy a bit.

I do hope this is the start to kinder and more mature coparenting. His anger is ever present so a reprieve would be welcome! I do wonder if my little MLCer is growing up too. Years ago when I was away on a trip to see family he could not dogsit and was a full on brat during marriage about taking care of the dog. Obnoxious teenage brat!

I have very little insight into his life nor do I want it. Saw enough, thanks very much. I never ask the boys about him or what he does. Recently though s16 told me his dad has serious issues. He then said he functions well despite a tough childhood. I listened and validated. But I did say I disagree that he functions well. I told s I think his dad lost his way in life in a way that is not high functioning. I in no way want his behavior normalized! S16 mentioned what his dad’s mom did to his dad as a kid. I told him she reinvented and deserves praise for that. It is his dad that is stuck in the past. I did tell son that we can’t control what happens that us in youth but we can learn how to cope. Grandmother had trauma too but reinvented. Victim mode is a choice and a bad one at that.

As for the guy I am seeing, I have told him I am only almost 2 years out of my marriage so it needs to be slow and light/fun for me. We work together and he said he had his eye on me since my d. I have told him no meeting my kids and all that. He told me he is patient and can wait?!!?! He is 10 years out of his d, no serious r in that time as his kids were young and he pretty much raised them himself.

He is hard working and responsible. Very attractive after living with a 50 year old frat boy. Job, no sighting of a year round Christmas tree either!!! He is funny and says I am one of the funniest women he has ever met. We play pickleball in a work group and have been friends for quite a while. Just enjoying someone who seems well adjusted and settled in himself.

Hope all is well! KML - I think your advice was pretty spot on in my case. Job - you are an angel on earth! Thanks to all!