Last resort technique?

[Traveler]

So, you felt your cheating partner was done unless you agree to her terms--an open relationship where she dates whomever she likes, and maybe you compare favorably and win her back?

It sounds like a great arrangement for her and a miserable one for you.

Unless, I mean, you've been dating up a storm and enjoying the single life as well!

[DBX80]

So, you felt your cheating partner was done unless you agree to her terms--an open relationship where she dates whomever she likes, and maybe you compare favorably and win her back?

It sounds like a great arrangement for her and a miserable one for you.

Unless, I mean, you've been dating up a storm and enjoying the single life as well!

I have not been dating, and yes, I understand now that it was a mistake. I was just too fearful of losing her when I made that decision.

[LH19]

DB,

9 times out of 10 when you fear losing something you will lose it. You can’t appease and nice her back.

[DBX80]

Thanks for the response AnotherStander.

You said, "When you tell a wayward what to do then what is their response? They rebel against you and do it anyway." Are we 100% sure she's wayward instead of a MLCer? Is it possible that she's just a walk-away spouse? Does it make a difference?

[DBX80]

D,

I am still stuck on the dating without any physical stuff. WTF does that mean?

No I adore yous!

For the first text: I am sorry I already have plans.

As for the original agreement: w I’ve thought about it and this isn’t working for me. I’m not interested in being in an open marriage.

As for the fight on Sunday. What part of no relationship talks do you not understand?

Thanks LH19, that's very helpful.

I suppose that dating without any physical stuff just means no sex.

And yes, I know I screwed up with the relationship talk. I'm still learning, I guess.

[LH19]

Isn’t dating without physical stuff a friendship?

I get it that you’re still learning but you have to try to minimize your mistakes. Do not let your w call all the shots. That will make you look weak. I think you have a chance if you start to show strength.

[DBX80]

Isn’t dating without physical stuff a friendship?

Hi LH19,

If dating without physical stuff is just a friendship, then is she NOT involved in an EA? Is it just a friendship, and therefore she's not a wayward?

[Traveler]

Dating with (an initial) "physical" limit can be very heated imho. I'll cop to being an OM in that situation before. I tutored her in Spanish--I covered the body parts one by one, making good use of a solitary hot tub.

Whatever the current boundaries actually are, it sounds like this isn't working for you.

[DBX80]

In response to her request for a dinner together, what if I say something like, "If you’re still talking to that other guy, I don’t think it’s a good idea." Thoughts?

[Traveler]

In response to her request for a dinner together, what if I say something like, "If you’re still talking to that other guy, I don’t think it’s a good idea." Thoughts?

Sounds really weak.

To elaborate, it's very passive compared to the prior suggestions:

You are actively engaging in an affair and I feel I need time and space from you right now to consider my options moving forward.

No. I adore you, I still can picture a better us, but I won't do an open relationship anymore.

I am sorry I already have plans. I’ve thought about it and this isn’t working for me. I’m not interested in being in an open marriage.