You pretty much summed up exactly how I feel as well. I'm a fixer and I always think I can identify the issue in the relationship and resolve it. Dropping the rope goes against my instincts but it's the only thing I can do to keep my sanity.
I'm working on making a conscious choice each morning I wake up, to let go of trying to control the outcome. Some days it's very freeing. Other days, not so much.
