Wolf why didn't you tell us she was premenopausal that changes everything.
Well actually it doesn't change anything. You still think this is like some kind of riddle where if you say the right thing a light bulb will go off in her head and she will change her mind. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
Wolf I definitely agree with LH, I get the impression like he does that you are scrambling to find "the golden answer" to why you are here. And if you can crack the code and find the answer, then you can flip a switch and put everything back to normal. But the truth is you will never know what sent her on this path, because she doesn't even know. Menopause, depression, anxiety, medication, tired of being married, tired of dealing with your health issues, fantasizing about someone else, etc. etc. you simply don't know and you never will. I know it's hard to LET GO but that is the only path to saving yourself, and then maybe your M. You simply cannot go spinning all these scenarios every time she walks in with a new bandage on!
I agree. You Both are right. I have been for a long time trying to find the problem so I could solve this problem. But being on here is teaching me there is nothing I can do. Regardless of the problem. You are both right that I was hoping to figure it out and flip the switch to make her come back. I am learning from this board that does not happen. It’s a hard pill to swallow but swallow it I must.
DS you are right I need to become more detached. This is a very slow process for me. Also you are right about the memories, I need to stop thinking of the good times, it only sets me back. I just have to accept this is her now, my w is gone and is not coming back. That I can create a new future that will be a happy and fulfilling one. Just like everyone else, I’ve spent almost 20 years with this person, it’s hard for me to flip the switch. My switch is more like the circular dial for the lights, it’s slowly turning to the off position. Once mine clicks to the off position I will be done with her (romantically) forever.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
